Follow Me For Glory!

Finally paddling with Canadian Gigi

After the Doncaster Holly and I were starting to get good at translating Queeb speak. We learned that “this river is easy” means “the river is not easy.” Another good one is “I know the river” means “I don’t know this river I only paddled it once.”

Wednesday we met up with Gigi and Marc to paddle the Tewkesbury, some of the biggest whitewater Holly, Sabrina and I had ever done. At 0.75 it was also a higher level than most any of the local canoeists felt comfortable running. Marie-eve’s key beta for the run was, “There’s going to be a V and a big hole.” She was both wrong and right for most of the rapids in that it was none of them until the end but every rapid did have a V and a hole somewhere in it, anyway.

We East Coast paddlers define big water levels differently, too. “Everything is Class III boogie water in this country!” Holly said. “Only in Canada would I catch air from a 10-foot wave in Class III boogie water.”

Marie-eve did know how to explain excitement for big-volume surfing, though. Her excitement was contagious and before long we were all getting into the first big wave, hole, thing on the river. Holly had a massive fail and swam in front of all the kayakers as Marie-eve yelled, “I’m sooooorry I made you do that!” Holly responded as she swam downstream, “For gloooooooory!”

Scouting the rapid at Tewkesbury

The rest of the river remained the same: big holes, big waves, Marie-eve guiding/not guiding us and finally finding the rapid with the V and the big hole. Our guide Marc chimed in with his description of the rapid.

“This rapid has a big death hole in the middle of the river. It’s very big, but easy to avoid by going left,” he explained. Marie-eve remembered the line enough that she said, “Follow me!” Then she flipped in the Class II entrance, got out of her boat and swam. Sabrina and I booked it like hell for the Plan B route while hearing “FOR GLORY!” from Marie-eve as she bobbed with her black helmet in an eddy.

“Beater!” Holly said as though back on the Ohiopyle mic. After paddling to the takeout, we all cheered Holly and Marie-eve on as they chugged their bootie beers. For those who say canoeists don’t need bootie beers, we say this. Read again just how they swam on this river. Extra beatering = brown claw bootie bears.

For the night, Marie-eve had found a friend who said we could camp with them. We waited in the raft guide parking lot for the friend’s crew to finish their third lap on the Tewkesbury. Holly, Sabrina and Marie-eve got inspired with hoola hoops, beer and music, and before long we had another dance party. After waiting over an hour and giving up hope the guys would show, we got into our cars and drove out of the parking lot only for them to finally arrive. They had us follow them to camp.

It was the sketchiest, most redneck guide “camp” most of us had seen. Luckily beer tastes good anywhere. Gigi made a salad, Holly and Marie-eve cooked pasta and I pitched my hammock. Happy with food and beer, we all made for a comfortable night next to the saddest little fire and a beautiful starry sky.